How to Support a Child's Mental Health When a Family Member is Incarcerated

When a family member is incarcerated, the impact on a child’s mental health can be profound and long-lasting. The absence of a parent or close relative can cause feelings of confusion, anger, anxiety, and sadness in children. Unfortunately, many families, especially in marginalized communities, do not have the financial resources to provide professional psychiatric support or therapy. In these cases, it becomes essential to find alternative ways to support a child's emotional well-being.

Recognizing Signs of Stress or Anxiety in Children

Children may not always express their feelings directly, so it’s crucial to pay attention to their behavior. Signs of stress or anxiety may include:

- Changes in sleep patterns: Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, or wanting to sleep more than usual.

- Behavioral changes: Increased irritability, aggression, or withdrawal from family and friends.

- Academic struggles: Declining grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating.

- Physical symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical complaints.

Recognizing these signs early on can help you address your child’s needs before they escalate into more serious issues.

Strategies for Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being

1. Maintain Open Communication: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of judgment. You can start by sharing your own feelings about the situation, which can help normalize their emotions and make it easier for them to open up.

2. Stay Connected Through Letters or Art: Maintaining a connection with the incarcerated family member can provide comfort and reassurance to the child. Writing letters, drawing pictures, or playing games like tic-tac-toe through the mail can be simple yet powerful ways to keep the bond alive. Personally, I found that exchanging letters with my children was a lifeline for us. I would play tic-tac-toe with my daughter Riley, with me marking an “X” on my letter and my child adding an “O” on hers. This not only kept us connected but also added a sense of normalcy to our difficult situation.

3. Utilize Spiritual Guidance: For many families, spiritual practices can offer solace and strength. Whether it’s through prayer, meditation, or attending religious services, spiritual guidance can provide a sense of hope and comfort during challenging times. It can also help children feel that they are part of something larger than themselves, which can be reassuring when their world feels uncertain.

4. Create Routines and Structure: Maintaining a routine can provide children with a sense of stability and security. Set regular times for meals, homework, and bedtime. Engage them in activities that they enjoy, such as playing games, reading, or going for walks. A consistent routine can help alleviate anxiety and give them a sense of normalcy.

5. Encourage Creative Expression: Allow your child to express their feelings through creative outlets such as drawing, writing, or music. Creativity can be a therapeutic way for them to process their emotions. Writing stories or creating art can help them articulate feelings they may not be able to express verbally.

6. Seek Support from Community Resources: The operative word here is seek. This seeking must be intentional. One of the things you must truly understand is you must stay on top of this. It's not going to just fall in your lap. While professional therapy may not be accessible, community organizations, schools, and churches often offer support groups, counseling, or mentorship programs. Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can help your child feel ess isolated and more understood.  We are currently developing a platform that will be available starting October 2024 to create another avenue of support. Will keep you posted.

7. Understand the Ongoing Impact: The trauma of separation doesn’t end when a child turns 18; it often continues into adulthood. Just as we recognize the various forms of imprisonment—physical, psychological, emotional, and economic—we must also acknowledge that the effects of separation are long-lasting. Support your child at every stage of their development, reminding them that they are not defined by this experience but can use it as a foundation for growth.

8. Never Give Up Connecting: my daughter Cameron and I wrote a children's book called The UnlikeliestFriends:https://www.amazon.com/Unlikeliest-Friends-Cameron-Alana-Brown-ebook/dp/B0D3GC4SZJ

This was one of the most impactful and wonderful ways to connect with my daughter. Cameron is 23 years old at this moment, I was snatched away when she was 14. We continue to grow together, this way we express ourselves and our hurt and pain and productive and positive ways by creating avenues for others to experience and see that there can be something powerful produced out of pain.

The Power of Connection and Understanding

As parents and caregivers, it’s our responsibility to provide our children with the support they need, even when resources are limited. Creativity, open communication, and community involvement can make a significant difference in how a child copes with the incarceration of a loved one. Remember, the goal is not just to manage their immediate emotions but to help them build resilience and a sense of security that will last a lifetime.

Let’s take the time to recognize the pain our children endure and make it a point to offer them the love, understanding, and support they deserve. Together, we can help them navigate these challenging times and emerge stronger on the other side.

—Terry Brown

---

This blog post was inspired by personal experiences and the mission of Wear My Pain, a sustainable clothing brand committed to supporting families impacted by incarceration. We believe in turning pain into purpose and providing a voice for those who feel unheard. If you found this post helpful, please share it with others who may be going through similar experiences. Let’s work together to ensure that no child has to face these challenges alone.